Many couples, having lived or met for several years, gradually realize that their feelings have cooled down, there are no topics for conversation, tension is in the air, and it becomes more and more difficult to agree on a solution to any problem. Psychologists call this period a crisis. What if the relationship is at an impasse, and people are not ready to leave for various reasons? There is only one answer - to look for ways out of this situation, to try to establish contact with your chosen one by all available means.
Walking the labyrinths
Over the years, resentments accumulate in any pair. Someone could not restrain himself and said a lot of unnecessary things, while another in revenge left for several days, thereby arousing suspicions of infidelity. Someone does not like the friends of the second half, but all requests to be at home are often ignored. There are many reasons leading to the maximum intensity of passions, and in each pair they are individual.
Gradually, dissatisfaction accumulates, collecting drop by drop, by grain, and a breakthrough of negative comes. It is difficult to stop this process, and the consequences are dire - people slowly kill love, and then disperse.
The main task is to find the starting point when the first embryos of negative emotions appeared in relationships. This is akin to walking through a labyrinth, since you will not only have to rummage through your own memory and consciousness, but also dissect your partner's feelings. And with men, oh, how difficult it is to do it! They do not like to dig themselves, considering this fact a weakness. Therefore, a woman may have to figure it out for two, cunning ways to get to the true cause of the spoiled relationship.
Finding a compromise
The next step will be to find mutually beneficial solutions for both parties. If you can't come to a common denominator, then you need to find the third option. He may not suit two, but at the same time he will not divide a pair into two belligerent armies, where one won and the other lost. To make it clear, you can consider several examples from life.
Example # 1
A guy and a girl are in conflict over leisure activities on Saturdays. He wants to spend these days with friends in a bar, she requires attention, care and joint evenings. What solution is considered mutually beneficial here?
It is possible to alternate desires of each other. One weekend guy is resting the way he likes, and the next weekend he entertains his beloved. On the day when the partner is busy with friends, the girl, for example, plans to meet with her friends in some institution.
Example # 2
Husband and wife fight over the family budget. The spouse believes that we need to be more economical and save extra money for a new car. His half has his own point of view and is sure that it is more correct to live without prejudice to himself in new clothes, travel and entertainment on weekends. Both in this pair can be understood and supported, but the solution must be the same. What to do in this situation?
A husband needs to understand his wife in her desire to be beautiful, fashionable and not tortured by a continuous household. This is a plus for maintaining passion in a relationship - the more a woman is pleased with herself, the harder she will try for her beloved in all areas of family life. So somewhere the head of the social unit must give relief to his soul mate. But it is better for the wife to realize that money does not come out of nowhere - the husband earns it by his own labor. The tenth skirt may remain in the store, and women's beauty will not suffer from this.
Of course, the question of what to do if family relations are at an impasse requires a separate discussion, since the level of responsibility and the depth of mutual understanding in the family move into a different framework. Here, excitement for children, and property obligations, and the influence of relatives - everything leaves its mark.
Example No. 3
As a basis, one can take a situation in which a relative is adding oil to a family fire. Basically, these are mothers-in-law and mother-in-law, who consider their sons and daughters to be just gifts of fate. Well, my husband’s mother doesn’t like how the daughter-in-law looks after her grandson, and the husband is either indifferent to what is happening, or takes the position of his parent - she’s older, wiser. What to do?
There is no need to run away to get divorced and leave the child without a father. There is always a way out:
- Exclude cohabitation even to the detriment of the budget.
- If the former is impossible, then you can often give the reins of power to your grandmother's hands. As practice shows, mothers-in-law who love to give advice quickly subside when they are given all the opportunities to implement them with their own hands.
- Do not quarrel with your husband, but quietly set him up to move.
- To conduct a cunning struggle: to notice all the shortcomings of a restless relative and, if possible, carefully expose them.
- Having your own savings and trying to earn extra money even on maternity leave - this will help maintain the status of a woman in front of her husband, and his mother or anyone else will be forced to be respectful.
Of course, this is only objective advice. The subjectively correct decision is made by the participants in the conflicts that arise, which, without timely elimination, lead to the appearance of a zone of alienation between lovers.
All good new is a long forgotten old
Once upon a time a man and a woman met and lit a flame of love in each other, and then a fire broke out, and now a new couple appeared. How many pleasant moments were experienced together: the first kiss, and the first seduction, and dates, and celebrations, and the birth of children! Everyone has a lot of shared memories that warm the soul.
It is necessary to discard all negativity and try not to remember the offense. You need to start your day with nice pictures from the past about how it all began. Many people forget the good, concentrating only on the negative - this is fundamentally wrong. It is important to tune in to the positive yourself and lead your partner to this.
Places of former dates, a cafe on the river bank, a disco on the outskirts of the city, chamomile plucked from a flower bed, sex in the summer rain on the beach - how much you can think of to restore positive emotions within a couple!
If this does not help, then a sober view of the future without a soul mate can bring both of them to life. It is worth imagining your life in all colors, but already alone. New Year, Valentine's Day, birthdays will be very different. The beloved will not come with a bouquet of violets, and the sweetheart will not make her signature cake on the weekend. Life will change dramatically. Wouldn't it be painful to see a once close and dear person in someone else's arms and to know that he is there, in a new relationship, good and comfortable?
In order not to go through all the circles of hell and not experience the ordeal, it is better not to drive yourself into a dead end. If this happened, then we must try not to prove the case with the last bit of strength. Calmness, prudence, the ability to analyze and separate the wheat from the chaff will help to get out of the crisis with the least loss..