No person in the world is immune from betrayal. Sometimes it is the one with whom you pin your hopes and dreams, suddenly hurts painfully, tears alive the seemingly strong relationships and feelings. What if your boyfriend dumped you? How to get over a breakup?
Who is to blame and what to do?
First you need to calm down and analyze what happened. Of course, resentment and self-pity, anger at a guy and an adrenaline rush into the blood are not the best companions of thoughts, so try to pull yourself together. Self-digging and home environment only relax and tune in to a minor mood, you want to feel sorry for yourself more and more, and not objectively assess the current situation. Without a sober look from the outside, it is sometimes difficult to consider the reason for the breakup, the entire chain of events that led to the break. It is much better to think about everything, distracting from the negativity while walking, shopping or in a beauty salon, shaping or in a cafe with friends. The main thing is to get together, put yourself in order and do something useful and enjoyable. Emotions will sooner subside and stop interfering with the work of the mind.
It is important to understand for yourself that there are always two to blame. You should not blame yourself for everything or completely shift the responsibility onto him - everyone could not or did not want to do something to preserve and develop relations. One did not want to make compromises and concessions, the other was too proud to forgive something. Or, on the contrary, too much was forgiven, the framework of what was permitted was erased, feelings were devalued and perished.
The first days and even weeks can be difficult. And the thought of how to get everything back comes to the mind of everyone who has gone through the gap. But is it really necessary to try to fix everything? Ask yourself: What upsets and hurts the most about this situation? If this is pride and wounded pride, then you shouldn't even try to restore something, because in your union, apparently, there was no love.
Sometimes it happens that it is just very convenient to live with a certain person. This also applies to financial situation, and social status, and simply ease and ease in relationships, patience with any whims and quirks. Leaving a partner in this situation is quite difficult to survive, he knocks the woman out of the comfort zone. But this is not as scary as it seems on the first evening. Often, when choosing external well-being, you have to ignore the signals of your soul, not giving it the opportunity to open up in true love. And while the soul is asleep, the girl enjoys one accessible feeling - egoism, forcing an unloved but comfortable person to spend time, energy and emotions on himself. Sooner or later, such a relationship is still doomed to failure. Well, why renew them and try to restore them, isn't it better to start new ones?
It also happens that people turned out to be simply incompatible - they came together in a fit of passion, and when the fire of emotions went out, it turned out that there were two strangers next to them with completely different interests and goals. The departure of a guy in this situation should be taken philosophically. People grow and develop all their lives, changing clothes and interests, outgrowing relationships and hobbies. You should not cling to such losses: perhaps the former partner did an invaluable service, making room in life for something more meaningful.
If there is a sincere confidence that all feelings were serious and from a pure heart, then you can try to take steps towards reconciliation:
- First you need to calmly talk with the guy, find out the reason for the breakup... It is important not to break into shouting and mutual accusations, not to get hysterical and not to make a scandal. The main purpose of the conversation is information. Often there are ruptures based on gossip, and sometimes outright lies of someone from the circle of close friends or relatives. There are also fatal misunderstandings when everyone considers himself an injured party and sees no reason to apologize first. And sometimes it is enough just to discuss everything in order to restore the destroyed peace and love.
- It is necessary to remember the time spent together. When did that tipping point come and the first chill ran? If you take a sober look at the words and actions of a couple soberly, without pink glasses of love, you can say a lot about how their relationship is actually built. What exactly pushed the guy to break up and how to eliminate these reasons?
- If there is no inner readiness to change for the sake of a young man, then you should not try to portray such changes. Sooner or later, hidden emotions, principles, habits will break out again, and then once again you will have to experience a break.
- You should never try to manipulate a man with threats, pressure on pity, stories about an imaginary pregnancy - it is impossible to build strong relationships on lies.
A girl should always remember about self-esteem. You can not impose, beg, persecute, forget about yourself for the sake of someone. He was determined to leave? Well, that's his choice. But this is not the end of life, but just the end of one period and the beginning of something new..