Love is the highest happiness that a person can experience. But why sometimes, thinking that the very love has been found, some people experience not at all happy feelings, or even are completely depressed? Most likely, we are already talking about addiction. To protect yourself from states that destroy the psyche, and therefore life, it is necessary to understand how love differs from addiction, and to learn not to make mistakes that lead to the collapse of relationships.
Definition
It is impossible to cover all the diversity of love in one definition. But in general, this is a powerful feeling associated with a deep emotional attachment to a particular person, which entails a feeling of fullness of life and has a constructive character.
Addiction (love) - a state in which a person experiences strong passion and obsessive emotional fixation on the object of his "love".
Comparison
It is necessary to pay attention to some signs.
What a person experiences
Love is always light. If you feel warmth, peace, calmness in your soul, it means that a person loves. Such a state inspires, arouses a desire to show oneself from the best side, encourages one to commit good, meaningful deeds. Loving people enjoy each other's company and appreciate these moments.
Dependencies are accompanied by a depressing longing for another person, a strong fear of losing him, a sense of the meaninglessness of life in his absence. And even if the beloved (beloved) is near, his (her) attention is always lacking. Thus, the main feeling that characterizes addiction is suffering. There can be no talk of any harmony in the soul.
Behavior in relation to a partner
The difference between love and dependence also lies in the fact that love is not inherent in the idealization of a partner, he is seen and accepted with all his soul as he is. Consequently, there are no nagging, reproaches, the desire to certainly change, re-educate the chosen one. A loving person understands that the second half has a certain personal space that should not be violated - this is communication with other people (in turn, not harming relationships), hobbies, work.
The addicted person often perceives the partner somewhat illusory, that is, he draws a certain image. From the "beloved" is required what he is not able to give, because he does not have the qualities that he is endowed with. The addict is selfish. It depends primarily on your own desires and attitudes. In this seeming love, in fact, there is no admiration for someone else's inner world, but there is continuous control, constant suspicion, destroying jealousy and the desire to "blind" from a real person what corresponds to his own ideal.
Mutual exchange
People who are in healthy love relationships try to give each other as much as possible and, accordingly, each of them gets a lot in return.
In the case of dependence, the balance of interchange is significantly disturbed. The side in love, as a rule, is obsessed with the desire to give everything to the chosen one. The same, at best, only accepts, at worst, refuses from this, and sometimes even tries to avoid any contact with his passionate admirer. It is in this situation that one person is said to have “strangled” another with his love.
Attitude to one's own life
Love not only does not hinder the development of a person, but, on the contrary, helps him to open up, to show his abilities. The one who carries love in his heart is endowed with the gift of seeing how many-sided life is. He is well-versed in the environment, seeks to use the available opportunities. He has great motivation for new achievements.
The world seems to be closed from a person suffering from love addiction. The whole Universe is enclosed for him in one person - the object of passion. Life becomes monotonous. The person becomes isolated, which makes his normal development impossible. That is why it is important to understand what is the difference between love and addiction, and to suppress any negative states in yourself. Only a free and self-sufficient person is able to find true love and enjoy it.
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